Top Ten Other Things Andrew Scheer Didn't Lie About, But Was Never Asked

"I've never tried to hide that (I am a dual US-Canadian citizen)," he said in a scrum with reporters in Halifax. "I've never been asked about it by Canadians. My father has always been open about where he comes from. I haven't been asked about it."--Andrew Scheer

10. Being a vampire.
9. Didn't wear underwear as House Speaker. Not even once!
8. Still waiting for that peach fuzz to break out into an actual beard.
7. Has promised Faith Goldy's firstborn to a little man known for spinning straw into gold, who also came up with enough last minute votes to magically give him the CPC leadership!
6. Underwent conversion therapy to seem human-like to Earthlings.
5. Likes to do his toenails with manly black polish - just like Gene Simmons!
4. Forever pestering buddy Jim Vallance to jam out a song he wrote called Summer of 2003
3. As Prime Minister, plans to create a ministry of Reminding Folks he was Down With Brexit Before It Was Cool.
2. Likes to call various world leaders out of the blue to request they investigate Donald Trump's political rivals, offering saskatoon berry jam for the favour.

And the Number One Other Thing Andrew Scheer Didn't Lie About, But Was Never Asked:

1. Has been secretly meeting with Jason Kenney for years in a totally normal and extremely heterosexual way, just to chit-chat and play rock, paper, scissors, okay?! Jeesh, you guys!!

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