Saturday, July 14, 2007

U.S. Senate matches Oilers' $50M offer for Bin Laden

The United States Senate voted to match the Edmonton Oilers' $50 million offer on Restricted Free Agent Osama bin Laden last week, thus thwarting Oilers GM Kevin Lowe from acquiring the highly sought-after veteran.

"Bin Laden is simply too important for us to let him go, no matter the cost," said the Senator who co-authored the measure.

In a hasitly-called press conference in Edmonton, Lowe was visibly distraught.

"We are sorry to miss out on him," Lowe said. "Scouting reports noted his toughness, and the inability of other teams to knock him off the puck. As a player, he has shown great tenacity and a truly explosive offensive capability."

Several commentators expressed unease over the implications this may have on the bounties put on other terrorists' heads.

"If the NHL allows its General Managers to continue down this reckless path in pursuing free agents, there's no telling what ceiling to expect in this post 9-11, post lock-out market," blasted the Hockey Snooze in an online editorial.

Others were openly questioning Lowe's sanity.

"We knew Lowe was desperate to add offense, but I don't even know if this guy can skate, and his health is certainly questionable," mused one hockey blogger. "Playing high-stakes chicken with the Buffalo Sabres is one thing, but first he threw away $27 Million at one defenseman with questionable health and skating ability, and now he offers $50 million for another? Going up against the U.S. Senate? It's time someone told Kevin there is good psychiatric help available."

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A bit of Sanity in Ontario

Just when I thought things were all going kaflooey. It seems that a judge in Ontario has ruled that the marijuana possession laws are unconstitutional.
"The government told the public not to worry about access to marijuana," said Judge Howard Borenstein. "They have a policy but not law.… In my view that is unconstitutional."

Defence lawyer Brian McAllister, who represented the man, said the ramifications of the ruling have potential to be "pretty big."

"Obviously, there's thousands of people that get charged with this offence every year," he said.

McAllister said Ontario residents charged with possessing marijuana now have a new defence.

"That's probably why the government will likely appeal the decision," he said.

Borenstein has given prosecutors two weeks before he makes his ruling official. Prosecutors told CBC News they want a speedy appeal to overturn the decision.
Here's hoping that appeal gets shot down. Now I am not a user of the stuff myself (too old and responsible, don't you know, and unabashedly influenced by the Replacements). But far be it from me to get in the way of others' enjoyment of this substance that is likely less harmful than alcohol (my own one remaining crutch - when not driving). In fact I believe there is a good pragmatic argument for making all recreational drugs legal. If that day ever comes, then this ruling will be seen as a big step along the way.

Whatever you can say about Pierre Elliott Trudeau, the gift he gave us with the 1982 constitution is one that just keeps on giving. That's the man's true legacy IMHO.

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