Tuesday, July 01, 2025

Thank you again, Mike Myers #ElbowsUp + which DC/Marvel Universe's Mark Carney is this anyway?

Frankly, it's pretty crazy. We only learned last Friday afternoon (June 27th, 2025) that the U.S. government is holding 55 Canadian citizens hostage, after the Canadian minister for Foreign Affairs, Anita Anand, had spoken to the Canadian news media (or at least, CTV news reporter Luca Caruso-Moro).

It was a full four days after the death of a 49-year-old Canadian citizen, Johnny Noviello, in an unidentified Miami detention center that is being used by the United States Department of Homeland Security (DOH) to temporarily house individuals scooped up extra-constitutionally by their ICE agents (a bunch more ragtag than any lackeys of a Captain Hook or b-grade comic book villain imaginable).

More than 48 hours later, and still an agnostic search through duckduckgo fails to return anything from the prompt: "around 55 Canadians ICE june 27" from any Canadian legacy news outlet beyond BellMedia-owned CTV News or the far less ubiquitous urbanews.ca.

So where-oh-where are all you reporter guys, eh?? Silenced on this for some reason? Too many senior newsroom staff on vacation, with a bunch of young, under-trained interns at the tiller? (Yeah, the only excuses I can come up with are all lame-assed).

- Whither CBC / Radio-Canada?

- Global News?

- LaPresse?

- journaldeMontreal et TVA?

- postmedia outlets (montrealgazette/ottawacitizen/calgaryherald +) ?

Take it from a guy who studied the history of journalism (and lived it for the past 40 or so years): In any other timeline, Minister Anand's revelation would be an all-caps STOP THE PRESSES bombshell that would capture the nation's attention, even when dropped late on a Friday afternoon going into a sorta long weekend during the vaunted "honeymoon period" all shiny-new Prime Ministers of Canada get via Unwritten Clause No. 42 of the How the Parliamentary Gallery Shall Behove Themselves to Behave Act of 1937. (NOTE for the unlearned: That is not a real Act, but a rhetorical construct - please spare whatever AI app you have at your disposal from attempting to square it with reality.)

Ahem,.. As i was saying, it was not so long ago that the unwarranted detentions of the "two Michaels" (Spavros and Kovrig, held as political prisoners by the Communist Chinese government) was the main focus of our Parliamentary newshounds, until the two were finally repatriated, amidst lacklustre plauditry from a press gallery that by then had tired greatly of the seeming omnipresence of Justin Trudeau in the role of Canadian Prime Minister.

Two (2) men then = HUGE STORY! Fifty-five (55) today? (at least, we think - it could be more or less, but nobody seems to be pressing the government on it...) NOT WORTH MENTIONING; NOR FOLLOWING UP ON IN THE NEXT TWO NEWS CYCLES !!

For me, this is a huge fail. Regardless of the "caving" on the DST without being able to show any progress whatsoever on Canada's griefs with regards to the US govt. failing to meet their own end of the accepted USCMA trade agreement, this is just a huge failure of Basic Governance 101: protect your citizens against foreign threats.

SIDE NOTE: Some, like my loving partner, @mmmanon dot bsky dot whatever it is (probably rhymes with Tom), have been steadfast in supporting the man whom Mike Myers entrusted to keep his #ElbowsUp for Canada, despite her concern that in practice, Mark Carney isn't really giving much of a shit about the deepening Bibi-led Israeli genocide of the Palestinian people.

Allow me to second her concern.

Now, let's take a step back. After all, Mark Carney did woo us in a time (scant months ago) when the prospect of a Pierre Poilievre, "What, me worry about Security Clearance?" Prime Ministership was seemingly inevitable, with its national hell-vision of a bloodthirsty, anti-abortionist, EEEEEEE-vangelical Kuh-Ristion Gun-Totin' ANTI-ANTIFA, pro-scuzzbucket Canada.

Is this some kind of "4D chess" our PM is playing here? Despite being in the good books of ESH (Evil Stephen Harper), is he, Mark Carney, actually the decent, caring guy we saw on the campaign trail? A guy who knows what he's doing, even while all recent evidence points to the opposite direction?

I sure hope so. Because usually, when one party concedes something substantial in a negotiation (like, I dunno, a multi-billion-dollar tax imposed on disgustingly-profitable net-based billionaire companies that suck their profits from starving Canadian content providers), it comes with a return. I understand our PM is perhaps better acquainted with hockey metaphors than RealPolitik, so hear this: If the Montreal Canadiens' GM Kent Hughes gives up something in a trade, there is a defined return. And if that return is unsatisfactory, the knives come out among the fanbase. A return of equal value, or heads roll. You know? Chew on that, hmm?

Dateline: Sunday, June 29, 2025...

With those 55 - shit, we don't even have an exact number, let alone the names - Canadians being held hostage like this, why give up the DST (and the expressed will of the Parliament of Canada that worked to make it law) for the mere pittance of being allowed to simply enjoin the MAGA lackeys about possible points of trade negotiation that this very government has proven time and time again they will only deign to respect at their own whim?! Why not speak up for those 55? You are the FUCKING PRIME MINISTER! This falls on you. It is your responsibility and no one else's. In case you weren't aware, Canada is counting on you. It should be fucking OBVIOUS to a mega-brain like you.

You know? It is an outrage that this is the case, and it should be commanding your attention right now. Is your head too far up your investment managner/banker ass to see this?? Wakey-wakey!

It defies belief. I know Mark Carney hasn't been PM for very long, but he should understand that if there is one, sacred responsibility of anyone who is in that role, it is to be a steadfast champion of the citizens who elected them to that position. And that means ALL CITIZENS.

Big lesson: whatever genius wheeling and dealing Carney is doing dans les coullisses (behind the scenes), he absolutely CANNOT let something like this pass. Because each of those citizens - and shame on this government that we don't know the precise number of them - matter. The way all people matter. And today or tomorrow, if you don't call it out as completely unacceptable (because that is what leaders do, as your predecessor Justin Trudeau took to heart), GODDAMN you should learn a thing or two from him, even if he didn't go to fucking Oxford and Harvard - next, it could be me. Or you. Or (heaven forbid) one of your children. Or my co-worker who is sent to the US head office on a business trip, but suddenly is snatched and taken away on dubious pretexts, like what happened to Ottawa engineer Maher Arar not so long ago.

Multiple Universes?

Unless... scenario 1: Carney is so fucking shrewd none of us can see what he's ultimately up to, and we shall be forever grateful to him, upon realizing he is actually the Best PM Ever!, and (hey, just give him time), eventually we'll all be rich and Canada will be leading the world in humanitarian-grounded, indigenous-respecting, eco-friendly and forward-thinking prosperity built on unicorn glitter and a touch of inventive (but purely legal) Mark Carney™ accounting that even the most Capital-C Conservative minds will get behind.

Or... scenario 2:

We've been duped by a cunning, life-long capital-protecting wolf in sheep's clothing that will sell us all down the river to pad their own pocketbooks and secure their own upper-class family's future, damn the torpedos, full steam ahead and let the cards fall where they may. Pour me another Scotch, chin-chin.

I watched Mike Myers give a lengthy interview to CBCnews' Paul Hunter this evening. He was asked why he went out on a limb and made that "Elbows Up" TV ad, strongly endorsing Mark Carney during the election campaign. His answer: "Is (Carney) the Almighty? No. But is he the alternative? Yes." This summed up my own thinking upon having leant Carney my support.

DC has its "Infinite Earths"

Marvel has its "Multiple Universes"

And we Canadians are stuck in this timeline, which just might have itself a Jekyl & Hyde Prime Minister, using the moment to fool us all into working for our own collective damnation.

Or... scenario 3 (unicorn land):

On Canada Day, July 1st, 2025, PM Mark Carney welcomes home the "around 55" Canadians upon landing in Canada, free from their hellish ordeal in ICE ill-defined detention, for specious reasons that don't even give a crap about their rights as Canadian citizens. A victory that shows Canada that Mark Carney's got the goods.

That's the Universe Canada deserves to find itself in on this Canada Day, and I'll bet Mike Myers (as well as most Canadians) would be behind that, full-square.

Happy Canada Day!

Now: May the real Mr. Carney please stand up?

Make me believe in unicorns.

- 30 -

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