Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Harper's Worst Nightmare?

What a bother this representational,... what do they call it? demogra...? demma? democracy? Yeah, democracy stuff is. 308 bloody candidates - all with ...freakish skeletons in their closets ...and mouths! Mouths that might say words that can't be controlled, not like robots can. That's it. GET ME ROBOTS!! LIKE IN THAT SECOND BORING STAR WARS MOVIE!!!

At least until I can get my majority, and then sell this god-forsaken socialist backwater country to the United States where is belongs! Now let me look at that notaleader site. WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NOT FINISHED YET?!? Well, show me what you've got. Did they get the puffin in yet? Let me see... THAT'S CRAP!! I TOLD YOU - I WANT THE PUFFIN TO CRAP ON HIS SHOULDER!!! HIS SHOULDER, MORONS!! GET IT RIGHT!

Great, so first I have to tell the media I'm some kind of fruit, and now I've got a puffin that isn't pooping where I want it to? THIS IS NOT HAPPENING TO ME!!!

AAARGGGHH!!!

Okay, I'm good now... Hey, who's that? Come out where I can see you! Is that a microphone? GET BACK HERE YOU! DON'T STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT AT ME!!

This was SUPPOSED to be a SAFE ROOM!! Now I'll have to sue somebody to shut them up and make up some crap about doctored recordings again.

Where's Emerson? EMERSON!!!

- 30 -

1 comment:

Gazetteer said...

Emerson, indeed.

But if things really start going sideways, I've gotta wonder if Little Steph is going to start screaming for big daddy to make things all better again.